Reprimand for enjoying life?

I sit here today, chastened, confused and shell-shocked by someone uttering the words "too Bacchanalian, beyond hedonism". This is sacrilege in my house. Food, beverages, music, and joy are all daily staples in my world, so statements like that are akin to setting monkeys who've had burritos for lunch loose in the temple. It is a total affront to everything that I am. Well, not everything that I am, but you know... the only joys that I require in this world are great food and beverage, good music and happy friends. I don't require much. Well... again, that's not strictly true... but I am not demanding.

So I have called my friend to apologize for the odd noises that I made when I could not find words after that point in the conversation, and we now understand each other. She will never utter words like that again, and I will continue to make the occasional dish for her (she does not know that I secretly use her as a Guinea Pig - well, she does now, I guess... sorry, Jess!). I hated to extort/ex-torte her like that. (Okay, I promise not to use food-puns often) But, have YOU ever heard someone say something like this? I mean... this part of my life (the aforementioned Bacchanalianism - is this a word?) does not CONSUME me and has not really caused any negative problems for anyone, including myself (apart from needing to do a lot more cardio, especially now that I am over 30). So how can anyone want to deny it to me?

Here's how... apparently, not everyone is that into food. Yes... I know... it was shocking news to me as well. I have called Diane Sawyer to see if she wants me to help with an expose. I asked myself all of the same things that are likely going through your head ..."everyone eats, how can people not have a desire to enjoy it? etc...." But according to a couple of people that I found (I will not report the rocks that I found them under, for their privacy) Food is simply an energy source, not a source of joy. The common thread that I have gained from my investigation of these strange creatures is that they have, in their quest for a more perfect body, given up on having good food.

Now, being a convert from the Eating for Energy crowd, it is my mission to help these people understand that you can get great joy from your food and still be happy when you hop out of the shower and look in the mirror. Baked Chicken and Broccoli is not a healthy way to eat at all... (actually , there are ways it can be done... i digress... you know what I mean) If you choose to go after a perfect body, that's great, we all WANT to look good, and I wish you incredible luck with it, but please do NOT do such a disservice to your body and your taste buds as to then relegate yourself to frozen chicken breasts microwaved and set beside broccoli. There are myriad ways to make food that BETTER nourishes your body and gives you better benefits, rather than just depriving all the way around and expecting that thin means healthy.

I will start my advice with the basics. Be informed. Eat as close to nature as you can, safely (this means eating veggies raw or lightly steamed, and not overcooking the other stuff), be reasonable with butter (or margarine, if that is your choice) and other dairy and have a nice simple small dessert, if you choose to have one, More Green! Eat Spinach, Kale, Mescal, Spring Mix, and the like whenever possible. Its easy to throw into a ziploc or tupperware, along with a few almond slivers and apple slices. Also, you can use lemon juice as a dressing. This was one of my tricks when I was willing to make those sort of sacrifices. You can also add herbs and balsamic to a little Flax or Linseed oils. For those deep in the gym world, another option is MCT Oils. Medium Chain Triglycerides act as an oil does, but do not store as fat, but will provide energy. But be aware that MCT's are not a great nutritive source... but you're having the greens, at least, right?

I feel it is necessary at this point to say that this information is for those of you who are eating the likes of boiled broccoli and a microwaved chicken breast. This advice is likely SCARING everyone else who knows me. We all have our goals and desires... it is a personal choice if someone decides they want to skip dessert (W-w-w.. excuse me WHAT!?) or any other excess/ joy in favor of the joy of being chiseled. I am only trying to help the chiseled understand that they can stay chiseled, but have fun with their food at the same time. I will return to my Bacchanalian ways and commentary that results from that in my next post. I may even start a new blog for the "OTHERS" who need guidance for their path to epicurean delights and personal physical betterment.

If I have not addressed anything, or I can help with anything further, feel free to comment/ask. I love feedback! Alas, I am not used to writing for sports nutrition, so I appreciate your patience. Also, to other readers... the HEDONISM RETURNS next post. Thanks again...